Why You Should Give Up On Your Marriage | The Strange Thing That Happened The Day I Decided To Give Up On My Marriage.
Today, I asked a little girl, “What is love?”She responded, “Love is not giving up on someone even when you want to.” Her wisdom, stunned me. See, first, I didn’t expect such an insightful response from a child and secondly, today, I was thinking of leaving my wife and giving up on my marriage.
After years of feeling unloved, disrespected and unappreciated, today, I just felt like hanging up my gloves. The unrequited love and one sided affection had finally gotten to me.
I was exhausted from giving my all and getting nothing back.My marriage felt like an empty shell. Most days I couldn’t recognize the woman beside me. She rarely ever spoke to me. Preferring the company of her friends over me. And when I tried speaking to her, most times it felt like she was deaf.
After years of endless fights, arguments and a situation that felt like it would never improve, I was ready to hang up my boots and throw in the towel. I just felt weary, exhausted and burdened.
But on my way home today, rehearsing the speech I was going to give my wife, and making plans about what to do next etc, I chose to stop by the park to meditate and just spend time with my thoughts. At the park, with the sun out, after days of endless rain, I met a beautiful little girl playing.
I decided to chat her up since I had the time. And at the end of our short tit a tat, is when I asked her the big question, “What is love?”
Her response, “Love is not giving up on someone even when you want to,” sounded like a message from Jesus to me.
Indeed this scripture is true:
And Jesus said to them, “Yes. Have you never read, Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have perfected praise?” Matthew 21:16
I thought long and hard about her answer. As I was thinking, something strange started happening. My previously hardened heart, due to the pain I had gone through over the years started to soften.
I started remembering that I had promised to be with my wife for eternity. We were going to heaven together. We were going to do life together. And yet somewhere in the middle of the journey I wanted out?
Thinking further about my dilemma, I realized this was a challenge too big for me to handle. I couldn’t change my wife. Lord knows I had tried for years. But then I also remembered that there was someone bigger and greater than me. Jesus Christ! I remembered that Jesus changes people. Jesus is the greatest behavioral therapist of all time. So, instead of trying to change my wife, me or my marriage, I figured I might just as well try giving the challenge to Jesus.
Yes, I was giving up on my marriage. But I was giving up my marriage to Jesus. Yes, I was finally throwing in the towel. I was finally allowing him to take charge, allowing him to lead the way. Allowing him to teach me and my wife what marriage was all about.
And so, while I sat in the park, still wowed by the insightfulness of this little angel, I decided to say a prayer. I decided to surrender and give up my marriage to Jesus and that is when another strange thing happened.
After my rather short prayer, I didn’t feel like leaving my wife anymore. Suddenly hope started bubbling in my heart that was once full of despair. Jesus was going to take care of my marriage, me and wife.
As I kept contemplating on these strange occurrences, thoughts and feelings, the deep, gnawing wounds in my heart started healing. The exhaustion and weariness I had felt for years started lifting. Suddenly these words came alive.
“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
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