Why You Should Give Up On Your Marriage | The Strange Thing That Happened The Day I Decided To Give Up On My Marriage

Why You Should Give Up On Your Marriage _ The Strange Thing That Happened The Day I Decided To Give Up On My Marriage Blog Post Banner Image

Why You Should Give Up On Your Marriage | The Strange Thing That Happened The Day I Decided To Give Up On My Marriage.



Today, I asked a little girl, “What is love?”She responded, “Love is not giving up on someone even when you want to.” Her wisdom, stunned me. See, first, I didn’t expect such an insightful response from a child and secondly, today, I was thinking of leaving my wife and giving up on my marriage.


After years of feeling unloved, disrespected and unappreciated, today, I just felt like hanging up my gloves. The unrequited love and one sided affection had finally gotten to me.
I was exhausted from giving my all and getting nothing back.My marriage felt like an empty shell. Most days I couldn’t recognize the woman beside me. She rarely ever spoke to me. Preferring the company of her friends over me. And when I tried speaking to her, most times it felt like she was deaf.



Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have perfected praise Matthew 21_16 Bible Verse Social Media Square Image
Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have perfected praise Matthew 21_16 Bible Verse Social Media Square Image


After years of endless fights, arguments and a situation that felt like it would never improve, I was ready to hang up my boots and throw in the towel. I just felt weary, exhausted and burdened.


But on my way home today, rehearsing the speech I was going to give my wife, and making plans about what to do next etc, I chose to stop by the park to meditate and just spend time with my thoughts. At the park, with the sun out, after days of endless rain, I met a beautiful little girl playing.
I decided to chat her up since I had the time. And at the end of our short tit a tat, is when I asked her the big question, “What is love?”
Her response, “Love is not giving up on someone even when you want to,” sounded like a message from Jesus to me.


Indeed this scripture is true:
And Jesus said to them, “Yes. Have you never read, Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have perfected praise?” Matthew 21:16


I thought long and hard about her answer. As I was thinking, something strange started happening. My previously hardened heart, due to the pain I had gone through over the years started to soften.
I started remembering that I had promised to be with my wife for eternity. We were going to heaven together. We were going to do life together. And yet somewhere in the middle of the journey I wanted out?



For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11_30 Bible Verse Social Media Square Image


Thinking further about my dilemma, I realized this was a challenge too big for me to handle. I couldn’t change my wife. Lord knows I had tried for years. But then I also remembered that there was someone bigger and greater than me. Jesus Christ! I remembered that Jesus changes people. Jesus is the greatest behavioral therapist of all time. So, instead of trying to change my wife, me or my marriage, I figured I might just as well try giving the challenge to Jesus.


Yes, I was giving up on my marriage. But I was giving up my marriage to Jesus. Yes, I was finally throwing in the towel. I was finally allowing him to take charge, allowing him to lead the way. Allowing him to teach me and my wife what marriage was all about.



Take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves Matthew 11_29 Bible Verse Social Media Square Image


And so, while I sat in the park, still wowed by the insightfulness of this little angel, I decided to say a prayer. I decided to surrender and give up my marriage to Jesus and that is when another strange thing happened.
After my rather short prayer, I didn’t feel like leaving my wife anymore. Suddenly hope started bubbling in my heart that was once full of despair. Jesus was going to take care of my marriage, me and wife.


As I kept contemplating on these strange occurrences, thoughts and feelings, the deep, gnawing wounds in my heart started healing. The exhaustion and weariness I had felt for years started lifting. Suddenly these words came alive.



“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30



Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11_28 Bible Verse Social Media Square Image



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Questions And Answers About Improving Your Marriage And Relationship With Your Husband

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Questions And Answers About Improving Your Marriage And Relationship With Your Husband.


How can I improve communication with my husband?

– Be intentional about spending time together talking. …
– Use more “I” statements and less “You” statements. …
– Be specific. …
– Avoid mind reading. …
– Express Negative Feelings Constructively. …
– Listen without being defensive. …
– Freely express positive feelings.

First Things 

How do I talk to my husband about feelings?

– Pick the Right Time.
– Edit it Down.
– Pause and Ask for Feedback.
– Don’t Catastrophize.
– Don’t Attack.
– Tell Your Partner if You Want to Solve Problems or If You Want to Share Feelings.
– Listening Is Not Agreeing.
– Respect Advice.

Huffington Post 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

How can you make your husband miss you?

– Think about his needs. Improving your relationship with your husband is the best way to make him genuinely miss you. …
– Let him know you appreciate him. …
– Talk about your conflicts. …
– Calm yourself down during arguments. …
– Avoid being defensive. …
– Move past mistakes.

Wiki How 

How do I make my husband happy?

– Show respect. Make sure your husband knows that he is your number one. …
– Show interest in his hobbies. This doesn’t mean you have to be with him every time he plays basketball with his buddies. …
– Have sex. …
– Do something unexpected. …
– Be yourself, all the time. …
– Let it go. …
– Take care of him. …
– Don’t nag.

Paired Life 

How can I be patient with my husband?

See the good in him or her, and stop jumping to conclusions. Trust your spouse.Patience means that you try and see the good in your spouse, even when you feel like there isn’t much to see in the moment. We love this quote by author, Lisa Grunwald, which explains perfectly what patience looks like in marriage.

Nurturing Marriage 

How can I care for my husband better?

– Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. …
– Don’t put others before your husband. …
– Don’t expect your husband to be your girlfriend. …
– Don’t dishonor your husband. …
– Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. …
– Don’t put your husband on the defensive. …
– Never use sex to bargain with your husband.

Family Life 

How can I positively change my husband?

– Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict and change your husband.

– Request Jesus to change you so that you can better love your husband.

– Look for the positive and focus on it.
– Even if you think your husband does nothing right, there really are good things about him. …
– Be positive when talking to or about your spouse.

Famifi 

How can I attract my husband emotionally?

– Get to know your man’s moods. …
– Encourage him. …
– Let him know how much you like him — without going overboard. …
– Don’t be too clingy. …
– Learn to compromise. …
– Don’t pick fights. …
– Don’t ask him if he’s mad at you if he’s just in a bad mood. …
– Remember to have fun.

Wiki How 

How do I deal with my angry husband?

– Don’t put fuel into the fire. Anger has an important trait: it’s temporary. 
– Wait until he’s calmed down. Address his anger when he’s more rational.
– Set your boundaries. 
– Pick your battles.
– Do not tolerate disrespect.
– Apologize when needed.
– Diet matters.

Paired Life 

How can I attract my husband in bed?

– Show the gorgeous side of you: Maintain basic hygiene, comb your hair, smell nice and wear fitted clothes. …
– Update your knowledge: …
– Be independent: …
– Take care of your health: …
– Wear your apron for your man: …
– Take interest in his interest: …
– Express your love: …
– Plan a date night:

Mom Junction 

How can I attract my husbands attention?

– Small and tiny gestures make him feel respected.
– Love him through his stomach.
– Appreciate him.
– Look attractive. 
– He craves for your sexual attention.

Breezy Storm 

How should a wife behave?

– Stop Nagging: There is a saying in which a nagging wife is compared to a dripping faucet.
– Keep Your Home Organized: Would you want to live in a messy house?
– Be Unpredictable:
– Give Him Space:
– Express Your Love:
– Be Honest:
– Communicate:
– Improve Compatibility:

Mom Junction 

How do you deal with a husband who is a mama’s boy?

– Do not give in to his demands. Your man might be used to his mother catering to his every need and want, but that does not mean that you need to as well. …
– Do not agree to move into her house. …
– Avoid confronting his mother. …
– Do not let his mother make your life choices.

Very Well Mind 

How can I make my angry husband happy?

– Stay calm. As much as you might want to let your anger match his, hold back.
– See his point of view. What’s the reason behind your husband’s anger? 
– Don’t scold him. You might want to talk him down by saying things like, “Calm down.”
– Insist on respect.

imom 

How do I talk to my husband romantically?

– Hide a love note in his wallet.
– Send a sweet text message for no reason at all.
– Send a sexy text message for a very good reason.
– Invite him on a date for a change.
– Let him talk without interrupting.
– Cook his favorite dinner.
– Make sure his favorite clothes are clean and ready to wear.

imom 

How can I avoid a divorce from my husband?

– Avoid big words, especially “divorce.”
– Do not try to change your partner. …
– Forgive each other. …
– Husband is priority number one, then kids. …
– Keep fit, and take care of yourself. …
– Do not compare your partner to others. …
– Respect each other. …

Bright Side 

How do I make my husband feel special?

– Food is the way to a man’s heart. Make a list of his favorite snacks, treats, and meals – and make one of them for your husband, just because.
– Put yourself first. …
– Save money. …
– Don’t talk bad about him. …
– Kiss him often. …
– Pick up one of his hobbies and really get into it. …
– Let him have some man time. …
– Catch him doing good.

Nurturing Marriage 

How can I make my marriage life interesting?

– Flirt more. …
– Try new hobbies together. …
– Get away. …
– Send the kids away for a night. …
– Plan new dates. …
– Do something fun every day. …
– Spend time with other couples. …
– Establish goals together.

Famifi 

How can I get my husband in the mood for sex?

– Take the sexual initiative. …
– Become his sexy masseuse. …
– Keep instilling ideas in his mind. …
– Bring radical change into your appearance. …
– Surprise him in the shower. …
– Flirt with him through text messages. …
– Frankly talk about your sex life.

Bonobology 

How can I improve my physical relationship with my husband?

– Create a buildup. If you want to make the first move but aren’t sure where to begin, don’t be nervous. …
– Send a dirty text. …
– Create a naughty codeword. …
– Go purely physical. …
– Dress up and roleplay. …
– Unexpected initiation. …
– Reminisce. …
– Just ask.

Marriage 

Tikva


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For A Happy And Successful Marriage That Will Last And Survive The Storms Of Life You Need This – The Vintage Woman

For A Happy And Successful Marriage That Will Last And Survive The Storms Of Life You Need This – The Vintage Woman Blog Post Banner Image

For A Happy And Successful Marriage That Will Last And Survive The Storms Of Life You Need This – The Vintage Woman.



You can have a fulfilling and happy marriage even in today’s world. You can have a healthy and successful marriage in today’s atmosphere’s filled with divorce and separation. You simply need to base your marriage on the architect of marriage. The person who doesn’t think it is right for man or for woman to be alone. The one who believes that human being’s need support systems, family, relationships and marriage.



And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:18


Without the assistance of Jesus and the help of his Holy Spirit, it is very difficult and hard to have a happy marriage. Jesus who is God created marriage. Jesus, is your assured and full proof prevention against a bad and painful marriage.


God created marriage in the garden of eden when he made the first man, Adam and gave him a wife, Eve (the first woman). From henceforth, God ordained marriage. A marriage without God, is a marriage headed for disaster, divorce, unhappiness and destruction.



Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:22-25


Modern teaching says that the marriage is a social construct, that is made by the people and the state. That is a very fallicious view that explains the high divorce rates we are witnessing in our world today.


Divorce is very painful and a difficult process. Divorce is akin to death as there is loss involved. A loss of dreams, hope, love, comfort, peace, stability finances, support, faith etc.


I pray that before we get married, we can ask Jesus to help us choose the right partners. And even after he has helped us to choose the right partners, I pray we build the foundations of our marriages on him because Jesus is the solid foundation and rock that never fails.



Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: 48 He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.

Luke 6:47-48


When the storms of life, hit, as they will inevitably hit, we can count on Jesus and the guidance of his Holy spirit to see us and our marriages through the rough seas and storms.


If you are going through any difficulties in your marriage today, how about, you invite Jesus to come and help you fix the difficulties and solve whatever challenges you are facing? Let’s give our marriages back to God and see him do a new and wondrous thing in our lives.



Below, is added information and useful advice from a book titled, “Ladies Book Of Useful Information.” that you will also find useful.



Advice upon this subject is very much needed. I am assured that it is a subject not often talked of in families—at least, as it ought to be—nor is it much alluded to in the pulpit, and the result is that young people commonly get their notions about it from those only a little older than themselves, and who therefore know but little more than they do, or from those who form their opinions from the abuse they see of it and so hold degrading and unworthy ideas respecting it.


Sometimes all that is known about it amounts to this, that it is a delightful thing to be married. It is quite true that it often is, and always ought to be, delightful; still, you know it is frequently the reverse. You cannot, then, be too cautious in the matter.


Nothing can be more orderly, right, proper, and holy than marriage. It is not, however, quite so simple an affair as you may fancy. Every good thing (and this is one of the best) requires some effort to obtain it, and unless you take the right course you must not expect to succeed.


You may often see a young woman who, from not entertaining correct views on the point, is certainly taking a wrong course, her endeavors being rather to make what she considers a good match than by acquiring kind and orderly habits to qualify herself to become worthy of a worthy husband.


That the best things are liable to the greatest abuses is notorious, and from the lamentable fact that marriage is often abused we may fairly infer its pre-eminent worth. In truth, there is nothing more valuable. It is, then, highly injurious to entertain low notions respecting it, and men who indulge in loose conversation on the subject are likely at the same time to think meanly of women.


Beware of them, and if you hear them expressing such opinions in your presence, withdraw from them at once as unworthy of your company. Never fear but they will respect you the more for the rebuke.


Of course you are looking forward to settling happily, and will do your best for that purpose. On this let me remark that all happiness (that is, all that is genuine, and therefore worthy of the name) comes from connection with the one great source of all good, and He has freely and fully provided all the means necessary for our being happy, both here and hereafter.


He has placed each of us where it is best for us to be, and in the circumstances that are best for us at the time, and this applies to you and to me now. Howsoever much appearances may be to the contrary, He cares as much for each of us as if we were the sole objects of His care.


It is only by doing our duty in humble dependence on His assistance, which He never withholds, that we can be happy. It behooves you, then, to consider well what is your duty, in order that you may do it and may enjoy the blessings He is so ready to bestow. I hope you may have been a loving and dutiful daughter, an affectionate sister, and a faithful friend; then you may have good ground of hope for the future.



Excerpt From The Ladies Book Of Useful Information.



Chloe



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Questions And Answers About Wedding Ceremonies

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Questions And Answers About Wedding Ceremonies.


What is the purpose of a wedding?

But it’s the third purpose of a wedding that is the most valuable of the three. It’s to provide a ceremony of spoken promises. Before God and witnesses, a bride and groom recite their vows to each other.

Marriage Builders

Why is it important to have a wedding ceremony?

It’s a declaration to the whole world of your unquestionable affection to your spouse. Building a great home starts with choosing your partner for life. And this is officiated in a ceremony called wedding. A marriage rite is important because it binds you to a lifetime commitment.

Nice Timer




Why is it important to marry?

Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment [Tweet This]. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also a spiritual and emotional union.

All Pro Dad

What does white wedding mean?

white wedding is a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding originating in Great Britain. The term originates from the white colour of the wedding dress, which first became popular with Victorian era elites after Queen Victoria wore a white lace dress at her wedding.

Wikipedia 

What is a traditional wedding?

wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriageWeddingtraditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. … Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception.

Wikipedia




What is a typical traditional African wedding?

traditional wedding is a last step after lobola negotiations have been finalised. This kind of wedding involves different cultures. Sometimes traditional weddingscan be between two different cultures, so those cultures will be represented on that day although the bride will end up following her husband’s culture.

Ulwazi

What do you pray for in a marriage?

Pray for one another. …
Pray for this day (today). …
Pray to be the presence of Christ in your marriage. …
Pray that your marriage will be a positive influence on others. …
Pray for your partner’s dreams. …
Pray for your children. …
Pray that you will be a better husband.

All Pro Dad

What is the blessing of the marriage?

Blessing of the Marriage. The Blessing of the Marriage is the conclusion to a wedding ceremony and comes just before the bride and groom are pronounced husband and wife.

Officiant Eric




Who says vows first bride or groom?

Traditionally all of them have the Groom say his vows first, followed in turn by the Bride. In some cases the couple may choose to say them in unison to each other. Usually the couple will face each other and join hands for their vows. There are advantages and disadvantages for each kind of vow.

Chicago Marriage 

How long does a wedding ceremony last?

So how long should your wedding ceremony be? Here’s what our experts have to say. Wedding ceremonies usually last between 20 and 30 minutes, which is ample time to cover the basics (words of welcome, a few readings, your vows, the ring exchange, and the final pronouncement).

Brides

How do I plan a wedding?

Start a wedding folder or binder. …
Work out your budget. …
Pick your wedding party. …
Start the guest list. …
Hire a planner, if desired. …
Reserve your date and venues. …
Book your officiant.
Research photographers, bands, florists, and caterers.

Real Simple




Who walks in first at a wedding?

The maid or matron of honor walks alone. The ring bearer walks alone, followed by the flower girl, or the children can walk together. The bride and her father proceed, with the bride on her father’s right arm.

Bridal Guide 

Who walks down the aisle before the bride?

Bridesmaids may enter one by one or accompanied by the groomsmen, in pairs, arm-in-arm style. Maid or matron of honor walk down the aisle and take their place on the altar, right next to the bride. Next come the ring bearer with the ring and flower girl(s) with flower baskets. Last is the bride.

Ever After Guide 

What happens after the wedding ceremony?

The Cocktail Hour. After being pronounced husband and wife, you’re often the first to leave the wedding ceremony, heading off (with photographer in tow) for pictures together before the partying gets under way. Your guests will head to the reception site for cocktails.

The Knot




How long is the average wedding reception?

How long each event lasts depends on your party—is it a simple cocktail wedding reception or a seated dinner? (The average reception with full meal lasts for about four hours.)

The Knot 

Who pays for the wedding rings?

The groom is traditionally expected to pay for the marriage license and officiant’s fees, and buy the bouquet for his “date” (the bride), as well as her engagement and wedding rings and a gift; he should also purchase boutonnieres and gifts for his groomsmen.

Martha Stewart 

Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner guest list can include just the two of you, your immediate families, the wedding party, and the officiant and his spouse. Or, it can be a larger event, including all the out-of-town guests (or at least all those who will have already arrived in town for the wedding).

The Knot 

Who pays for the rehearsal dinner at a wedding?

Traditionally, the groom’s parents are the hosts of the rehearsal dinner, since the bride’s family customarily pays for the wedding. But given the more relaxed standards of modern times, other relatives, close friends, or even the couple themselves can plan and pay for the event.

Martha Stewart




Who pays for what at a wedding?

Bride and family pay for floral arrangements for the ceremony (including a chuppah if it’s a Jewish wedding ceremony) and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls. Groom and family pay for the bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres for men and corsages for mothers and grandmothers.

The Knot

What does the groom’s parents pay for?

A: Traditionally, the parents of the groom take care of a few of the expensesincluding: the marriage license, officiant’s fee, corsages, boutonnieres, the bride’s bouquet, groomsmen gifts, liquor, and the reception DJ, band or other musical entertainment. And the bride’s parents pay for everything else.

The Knot

Who pays for the honeymoon?

Traditionally, the groom and the groom’s family pay for the honeymoon, but in this day and age the traditional rules don‘t apply. I often see the parents of both the bride and the groom paying for the wedding and allowing the couple the freedom to organize and pay for their honeymoon together.

Huffington Post

What do I wear to a wedding?

Don’t wear white… …or off-white, or really, really pale blue. …
Leave the sweats at home. …
Denim = no. …
Say bye to shorts, guys. …
Cover your shoulders when applicable. …
Cargo pants are not OK. …
Don’t go against the dress code. …
Rips and holes, even intentional ones, do not belong.

Cosmopolitan 

How can I send good wishes for a marriage anniversary?

“Wishing a perfect pair a perfectly happy day.”
“Here’s to another year of being great together!”
“Anniversary cheers!”
“Happy [21st] anniversary, you old lovebirds!”
“Hope you find time to look back on all your sweet memories together.”
“Always knew you two had something special.”

Ideas 


Tikva


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How To Become A Better Husband – Blog Of The Day

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How To Become A Better Husband – Blog Of The Day

With the high divorce and separation rates in our world  and many wives lamenting about how unloved and uncared for they feel, it seems like many husbands today need some education on how to be better husbands and how to love their wives.

Most literature out there is about how women can treat their husbands better. A cursory look at many pinterest boards and most are filled with advice on how women can be better wives but very little on how men can be better husbands.

Paul, the apostle encouraged husbands to love their wives, the same way that Jesus loved the church.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.”

Ephesians 5:25-26

There has been a lot of debate in regards to this, as earlier in the chapter, Paul also encourages wives to submit to  their husbands.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:22-24

Unfortunately, some ungodly and unrighteous men have taken this verse and misused it to mistreat their wives.

In his blog series titled,  Becoming A Husband of No Reputation, Travis who blogs at Jesuslovesyou32 brilliantly explores the topic of being a great and godly husband. He masterfully delves into the topic and shares a lot of great insights.

If you are a married man who wants to become a better husband to your wife, and to improve your marriage, this is a must read series.

Becoming A Husband Of No Reputation (Part One Of Three) [Jesus] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.Philippians 2:7-8, NKJV […]

via Becoming A Husband Of No Reputation (Part One Of Three) — My Beginning. My Forever.

Becoming A Husband of No Reputation (Part Two of Three) [Jesus] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians […]

via Becoming A Husband of No Reputation (Part Two of Three) — My Beginning. My Forever.

Becoming A Husband of No Reputation (Part Three of Three) [Jesus] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians […]

via Becoming A Husband of No Reputation (Part Three of Three)  — My Beginning. My Forever.

I hope you the insights that Travis has shared help men become better husbands and strengthen family structures for the glory of God.

Tikva